Unrequited love
by totem
Summary: There’s a difference between loving and been loved – there’s a difference between hurting and been hurt. Can Paige really save her self from hurt without hurting Piper? short


**Totem – 7th AUGUST 2005**

**UNREQUITED LOVE**

"There is no reality of you and me, don't you see that? I can't be who you want me to be" I shouted at him. Why didn't he understand this, that I couldn't be his? What more can I say to make him understand – what more can I do? I look away from the man sat opposite me at the table in the kitchen, the man who means so much to me but not in the way he wants. He wants me to love him but I can't…he can never be my lover and I his. NEVER!

"Is it because of Piper?" He asked me, like he didn't already know. Yes it was because of Piper, of course it was. His hand moved slowly across the table and I made the mistake of leaving mine there. His fingers lightly brushed over mine and although I had the urge to leave my hand under his I couldn't, I pulled it away sharply.

"She's my sister" I tell him, my god like he doesn't already know. "She's your wife" His eyes were soft as they looked into mine, did he not understand what he was doing to me? He was killing me.

"She's my ex…" He explained, "She's dating other people…" he pointed it out, that she was dating and he was right she was. But she still loved him, Piper still loved Leo, I knew because I had been the one to sit and listen to Piper sob her heart out.

"She's the mother of your child GOD DAMN IT! She's my sister. THIS ISN'T Going to happen." I shot, anger surging threw me. Sure, maybe on some level I wanted for him to hold my hand, to be closer to me than he was, to feel his breath on my neck and the warmth of his love. But on the level I was at, the one I planned to stay at I wanted him to stop this, this madness.

I let my anger get the better of me and threw the chair I was sat on backwards and stood to my feet leaning over the table I glared into his eyes, his loving eyes – "This stops…I mean Leo. It can never happen, do get that…I'm not going to do that to Piper, to my nephew…"

"Do what? She's quit me…"

As if for the first time something hit me, I noticed the rage of poignant love in his voice. Though it wasn't love directed at me, it was for Piper. I could sense the love and jealousy brimming in his voice. Now, as if for the first time I understood – he didn't want me, he wasn't in love with me like he claimed, he was using me. It was now all so clear, "you…you want to hurt her as much as she's hurt you" I explained, and I was a wear that my voice had lowered, in disbelief "You want to have me, to sleep with me to get back at her" I shot.

"No!" He stood up, "Paige I love you"

"You can't LOVE me…you can't love me when you still love her and you can't have me, not now not ever. Your Wife, the mother of your son is my sister. Don't you see why it can never happen? Why I won't let it happen?" I was rambling now, in disbelief that he was doing this to me. Putting me threw this, I pushed my hand threw my hair – a habit I had picked up over the years – and turned my back on him.

"Paige you deserve to be happy!" What the hell did he just say, I deserve to be happy. How the hell could he be saying this in all seriousness?

"Not at the cost of my sister's happiness. There are things you don't do Leo and taking your sisters ex is one of them. Don't you see that? That this can never happen?" I asked him. Sure, I had feelings for him, sure I did…and I couldn't deny that to myself. But no way would I ever act upon them feelings. Never could I be what Leo wants me to be. I turned around, "I love my sister Leo, more than anything…nothing well ever change that. Not you, not no one" I tell him with all seriousness that it could never be. I make it so clear –

Leaning back over the table I offer his advice, "You still love Piper, the only reason you are doing this is because you want to hurt her. Well trust me, she's hurting…you need to talk to her, tell her how you really feel and be the father your family needs. What ever you think could happen between us. It never will. EVER!"

He looks at me, shocked, as if I should have succumb to his words, to his charm to him. Shocked that I hadn't slept with him. Thankfully cries escaped from the monitor on the side, I didn't break eye contact only spoke… "Your son needs you" He didn't respond, only looked back into my eyes with a uncertainty of his next actions. "Your family needs you" I tell him, forcefully. Again he didn't respond only orbed away. The fading blue lights leaving a nothing where he once was as they faded.

Tears stung the back of my eyes, this time I pushed both hands threw my hair and sighed. Wanting nothing more than to let the sobs that had chocked up in my throat out and cry for a love I felt which I could never show. I could never do that to my sister, to my family. To his family. Though what made it worse was I knew Piper would never take him back – not as a lover anyway. As a father undoubtedly she'd have him back, but as a lover…unlikely – she just couldn't put her heart threw anymore and I understood that. Piper and Leo had gone threw so much in there time together that even the strongest of hearts couldn't withstand. I would never, I could never add to that Pain even if it caused me a pain of her own.

But as long as Piper was out dating other men and causing a Pain to Leo, Leo would keep on at me, because I was the key to causing Piper unspeakable pain. Not because he did love me but because he wanted her to hurt as much as he was…and I was the only one who could hurt her that much. But to stop Piper's pain I went through a pain of my own. Night after night, moment after moment I lived with the pain of loneliness and rejection.

I lived with watching day after day as Piper denied her feeling to Leo, the pain of been offered what I can never have!

END


End file.
